"Twas The Night Before Christmas

Someone pretending to be Werner Herzog reads 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Coffee Is For Closers

I've met God across his long walnut desk
with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind
him, and God asks me, "Why?" Why did I
cause so much pain? Didn't I realize that
each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake
of special unique specialness? Can't I see
how we're all manifestations of love?
I look at God behind his desk, taking notes
on a pad, but God's got this all wrong.
We are not special. We are not crap or
trash, either. We just are. We just are,
and what happens just happens.
And God says, "No, that's not right."
Yeah. Well. Whatever.
You can't teach God anything.”
--Chuck Palahniuk

Wanking Bankers

I have been assured by a very knowing nutritionist of my acquaintance in Berkeley that a plump well-basted financial sector mogul is a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled.
--with apologies to Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal"

Windswept Ducklings

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.
--Buddhist proverb

Free Julian Assange

The only thing

new in the world

is the history

you don't know.

--Harry Truman

Thanksgiving Prayer

William S. Burroughs: "Thanksgiving Prayer"

Eternity With Oprah

Angry Pussy

Cowboys & Aliens

1873. Arizona Territory.
A stranger with no memory of his past stumbles into the hard desert town of Absolution. The only hint to his history is a mysterious shackle that encircles one wrist. What he discovers is that the people of Absolution don’t welcome strangers, and nobody makes a move on its streets unless ordered to do so by the iron-fisted Colonel Dolarhyde. It’s a town that lives in fear. But Absolution is about to experience fear it can scarcely comprehend as the desolate city is attacked by marauders from the sky. Screaming down with breathtaking velocity and blinding lights to abduct the helpless one by one, these monsters challenge everything the residents have ever known.
Now, the stranger they rejected is their only hope for salvation. As this gunslinger slowly starts to remember who he is and where he’s been, he realizes he holds a secret that could give the town a fighting chance against the alien force. With the help of the elusive traveler Ella, he pulls together a posse comprised of former opponents--townsfolk, Dolarhyde and his boys, outlaws and Apache warriors--all in danger of annihilation. United against a common enemy, they will prepare for an epic showdown for survival.
Coming soon.

Hasta Los Huesos

The Last Days Of the Suicide Kid

Anatidaephobia

The American Dream

In My Reality I'm Crazy

And Man created
the plastic bag
and the aluminum can
and the cellophane wrapper
and the paper plate,
and this was good
because Man could then
take his automobile
and buy all his food
in one place
and He could save
that which was good
to eat in the refrigerator
and throw away that
which had no further use.
And soon the earth
was covered with
plastic bags
and aluminum cans and paper plates and disposable bottles and there was nowhere to sit down or walk,
and Man shook his head and cried:
"Look at this Godawful mess."
--Art Buchwald

John Trudell: "In My Reality I'm Crazy"

Instant Karma

Bravery is believing in yourself, and that thing nobody can teach you.
--El Cordobés

Our Place In The Cosmos

Jane Austen's Fight Club

Sorry Ain't Enough No More

Can't Keep Us Down

Water And Sand Are Much Better

outside of
Royal Arch Canyon


Edward Abbey
University of Utah
1988

a bouquet for
Cactus Ed

testing